Love was a familiar element when I was growing up. It was the very thing in which the foundation of my childhood was built upon. Though at times, I witnessed fights, (physical and verbal) my mind was certain… I knew love.
Growing up, I looked to my parents, my front row seat to all that love had to offer. I learned the words love would say, and the words love would sometimes utter, despite the pain they would bring. I learned the actions love brought. I learned the patience love would bring and the impatience and frustration that followed closely behind. Love was never perfect but love was the driving force that kept my family together. Growing up in a large home, when love wasn’t felt between the parents, the siblings comforted each other. Many nights, my sisters were my backbone and my brothers were my smile through the painful reality of the struggles of love. Often times, I didn’t understand what was hard about loving someone. Why marry if you cannot accept all that someone is? People cannot change people. A person will only change when they are ready to change. You cannot ask a person to love you solely because you are ready or already in love with them. Our biggest fear is falling in love with someone who is not in love with us. How do we handle our emotions? How can we act as if something that is there, simply does not exist?
Love is simple. Humans are complicated. Love is putting someone before yourself. Love is praying for someone more than you pray for yourself. Love is longing to be in the presence of the person. Love is seeking their affection, good or bad times. Love is focusing on their happiness but never putting it before your own. Love is a deep and fulfilling emotion that traps our hearts and opens our minds. Great love is not close minded. Great love is adventorous. Great love is wholesome. Great love is one of a kind. Not all love can be duplicated. Love is love and can take many different forms.
Some call me a “hopeless romantic”, I would hesitate to disagree. I know love simply because I know God. I know love simply because I have a concept of self. I know love because I recognize the importance of self love. Prior to this new found understanding, did I experience love? It is very impossible that I had. I used the word love to describe my willingness to go to the ends of the earth for an individual. Love is more than doing. Love is more than words. Love was a contradiction. Love was blind (in a negative sense). Love was one sided.
In maturing, my views and understanding of love is dynamic. Love is love. Love is simple. Humans, still complicated. Love is feeling the sun after 3 days of rain. Love is getting a phone call after weeks of failed interviews. Love is a father protecting his daughter from heartache. Love is wiping away someone else’s tears before you catch your own. Love exists in different forms. Love brings about plethora of emotions. Love is something not meant to be one sided. Love is meant to be experienced, trial and error. Love is meant to be never ending.
I (at times) have this illogical fear of not feeling true love with another person however, the love I feel from the earth, from myself, and most importantly, from God, is enough to fed my soul. When the time is right, when the temperature is perfect, when my confidence is shinging bright, the love of my life will come into full form and bless me with all that he has to offer. He too will know love because he will have a concept of self, an understanding of self love, and an undying love for God.